If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.I renamed my iPod 'The Titanic', so when I plug it in, it says, 'The Titanic is syncing.'.If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.I told my suitcase that there will be no vacation this year.The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.We are what we repeatedly do excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way. An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. The quickest way to get someone's attention is to no longer want it. See Words Aptly Spoken and The Paradox of Our Time.ġ9. The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints we spend more, but have less we buy more, but enjoy it less. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.ġ8. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.ġ7. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu - you get what you deserve.ġ6. There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?ġ4.

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.ĭon't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt. In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.ġ1. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: 'That's the last thing I need!'ġ0.

If you learn German only when sleeping, you will speak German only when dreaming.

Published by Trieu Duong HUYNH, Feb 21, 2018.

Learn German While You Sleep 😀 130 Basic German Words and Phrases 🍻 English German.

In German, however, all nouns are capitalized. German translation: Kind = Child, Kinder (Plural of Kind) = Children. It doesn't matter how kind you are, German children are always kinder. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law.Ħ. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.Ĥ. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.ģ. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. A pun is a humorous play on words.' ~ From ġ. Puns can be quite clever, but often come off as silly, cheeseball attempts at humor. 'A pun is a comedic phrase that plays off of the sounds and double meanings of words. Such ambiguity may arise from the intentional misuse of homophonical, homographical, homonymic, polysemic, metonymic, or metaphorical language.' 'A pun, or paronomasia, is a form of word play that deliberately exploits an ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect. Quotations, Humorous Use of the English Language,Īnd Strange Facts More Pun and Funny English in Part 2 What Is a Pun? Pun and Funny English Funny Puns, Play on Words, Wise Sayings, Proverbs,

Funny short phrases that rhyme